>Daddy’s Girl

>God’s voice My voice

“Jesus says–Go steadily on with what I have told you to do and I will guard your life. If you try to guard it yourself, you will remove yourself from my deliverance.” -Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest
But God, why must it be deliverance, why can’t it be prevention?
Because “suffering produces perseverance; perseverance character; and character, hope. ANd hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.” (Romans 5:3b-5)
But what is it I should hope for?
“Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long.” (Psalms 25:5) Hope that God is truth, that He will not let me be put to shame, that He will “guard my life and rescue me” and that He will redeem me from all my troubles. Not that He will never let them happen, but that He will make good come from them.
Oh, God, I don’t know if I like that! I accept it but I don’t think I like it very much at all. But give me a willing spirit, I want very much to trust you, God, and I don’t want to guard against you of all people.
Psalm 27:1 – The LORD is my light and my salvation–whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life–of whom shall I be afraid?
:4 – One thing I ask of the LORD, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to seek him in his temple.
:14 – Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.

This conversation came yesterday, the day after a long postponed arranged meeting at a picnic for International Friendships, with the son of my parents’ friends’ friend. It was every bit as awkward as I had imagined over the two months since the first proposition of the idea, but I was trying to give him a chance so I could at least tell my parents I had honestly tried. To give you an idea of the tenor of our interaction…

Me: So, what’s your dating philosophy?
Him: Uh…crash and burn?

Precisely the answer I did not want to hear, but I was promptly rescued by the arrival at the bus stop of some international students who had been at the picnic, with whom we each proceeded to talk for the next twenty minutes while studiously ignoring each other. I realized the next day, however, that God was running interference for me from the start, and that I should have listened to my own intuition instead of thinking about pleasing others. God has been guarding me against all manner of encounters with men, even trivial ones, and I think it is fairly safe to say that He wants me to be single right now. I will have to ask whether that is to be a long-term condition, and while He doesn’t have to tell me, I am least going to ask so later on I can’t say I didn’t try to find and follow His will.

Psalm 28:7-9 – The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song. The LORD is the strength of his people, a fortress of salvation for his anointed one. Save your people and bless your inheritance; be their shepherd and carry them forever.

I read this psalm during the prayer meeting, but earlier today during church I was struck strongly by the mental image/physical sensation of myself as a small child reaching her arms up to her Father, who scooped me up and held me tight. I’m Daddy’s girl, right now and forever. I realize now that God is keeping me from wasting my time and emotional currency on someone who isn’t right for me. Even though wasting time can be pleasurable sometimes, I can never get back time or emotion that I’ve given away, so it’s better that God is making me save them. It is not so much a matter of being stingy with all others but being generous to the one God intends for me, if such a person exists (and if not, my all belongs to God!). Don’t I want to give h[H]im the best? I ask God to keep that in reserve for me and tell me if or when to give it to the right person.


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