>Needs and Shoulds

>I have a persistent habit of turning my needs into shoulds, which has caused me no small amount of unnecessary angst. This week it felt like I had to go from 0 to 724 instantly, which resulted in some major whiplash. God reminded me about the need to distinguish between my…

need for balanced food and meals vs. rules for what and how much to eat
need to stay connected with God vs. rituals and obligations of spiritual discipline
need to work hard in school and do my best for my students vs. unrealistic expectations for my performance and the urge to compete or strive
need to maintain an orderly physical environment vs. obsession with tidying up at the expense of rest
need for social and spiritual community vs. half-hearted, half-minded interactions
Then in church today we discussed the idea of creation without a cause, in which God is concerned with creating and enjoying, not using or manipulating. As much as I want to learn from the process of making mistakes and trying new things, maybe the process itself has intrinsic value apart from any lessons learned. It’s like taking a walk through the forest to enjoy the trees and the animals and the fresh air, rather than to get somewhere, exercise the body, whatever. There’s a fine line between them, to be sure. It’s not wrong to have a destination or to derive benefits from the journey, but maybe it doesn’t always have to be about what I can get out of it. That sounds like true worship to me.

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