>Free Safety

>I think that I am finally starting to understand, in a small way, just what it means for God to work in all things for the good those who love Him (Romans 8:28). Lately, I’ve had so much to do all the time that I haven’t been very consistent in my devotional motions, and yet God has made Himself profoundly and undeniably present, from speaking to me through my adolescent psych reading, to dropping the perfect plan my action research project into my lap at 9:26pm last night, to the inexplicable dreams I’ve had during the past two weeks. Casual mention of those dreams led to a conversation with an old friend I haven’t talked to in months, and I found out she’s been having dreams about a similar situation. We prayed for each other and while I still didn’t sleep terribly well last night, I am so grateful for the chance to reconnect. I had felt some bit of angst over these dreams, wondering whether they were indicative of anything deeper, but if their only purpose was to help me reach my friend and sister, then it was worth the lost sleep.

Our discussion at church on Sunday could not have been better timed either, with its reminder to trust. I wonder if God isn’t smoothing the way for me throughout this quarter, in His own way and time, because He knows that one false step might send me reeling so far and fast I can’t pull myself up. (At least that is how I feel a lot of the time!) Of course, God knows better than I exactly how much I can and can’t handle, but I have to trust Him that He will give me no more than I can endure. I also think that for the first time in my life, perhaps, I am moving out of the safe zone where I have complete control over my present and immediate future, onto that edge where risk meets true reward. Even though it is not safe, it is a place of freedom from anxiety and doubt, or at least it can be. One of the articles I read for my multicultural ed class talked about the distinction between creating a “safe place” for students and a “free space” for students. Safety is not the same as freedom, at least from our perspective, and I’m coming to see that the latter is indeed more valuable.
But of course, with God, it’s possible to have both.

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