Psalm 65:10 – You drench its furrows and level its ridges; you soften it with showers and bless its crops.
I suppose that, to the soil, rain and plowing looks a lot like trauma and punishment. But to the seedling, they are life.
Corollary: “There is no safe place and no safe person. I am my own safe place and my own safe person.”
Upshot: I believe the first parts…not so sure about the seconds. I’m afraid of shutting down, but it’s the only way I know to protect myself…
“Be still, and know that I am God.” -Psalm 46:10
We’re doing a 5-week experiment at church wherein we start by taking three minutes a day for a week in each of the following stages: Centering, Thanksgiving, Confession, Asking, and Helping. (The teacher in me is fighting really hard not to make a cutesy CATCH acronym out of it!) I am not too proud to admit that my prayer life has historically sucked, and I like the structured approach to easing back into things. My guess is that eventually I will open up again to more spontaneous and intuitive prayer, but right now I need the training wheels.
I also really like the prayer beads we are making in church. I’ve noticed that having something tactile to play with typically enhances my concentration (hence the knitting in church for which I was chastised many years ago), perhaps because I am so practiced at inner thought that I need to engage my inferior Sensing function to occupy parts of my brain that would otherwise be bored. But hopefully this will help me learn to be present and do only one thing at a time.
>The board is set. The pieces are moving.
>Two steps forward, one step back still counts as progress.
>The harder I push against something to get where I’m going, the harder it will push back on me. I have to be prepared for resistance, not just expecting it but knowing how to work around it.
>I guess the point of affirmations in the recovery process is to keep at it even when I don’t feel like it. So here is one that I grasped today, then lost hold of briefly, and am trying to reclaim before the day is over.
If I can live without someone that I cherished (and I can and I am), then surely I can live without something that is harmful (I can, and I