It’s been a weird week of rising anxiety, and last night I finally sat down long enough to pinpoint why. I’ve said no and had no said to me a lot this week, and that has always freaked me out more than a little. It’s so hard to say no to something that’s not right for me when the best choice has not presented itself yet. But I have learned not to jump too quickly at the nearest option in times of uncertainty, and I’m trying to sit in the ellipsis a little longer. I’m determined to keep falling up and eventually break through anxiety as well as depression.
From inside the fish Jonah prayed to the LORD his God. He said:
“In my distress I called to the LORD,
and he answered me.
From deep in the realm of the dead I called for help,
and you listened to my cry.
You hurled me into the depths,
into the very heart of the seas,
and the currents swirled about me;
all your waves and breakers
swept over me.
I said, ‘I have been banished
from your sight;
yet I will look again
toward your holy temple.’
The engulfing waters threatened me,
the deep surrounded me;
seaweed was wrapped around my head.
To the roots of the mountains I sank down;
the earth beneath barred me in forever.
But you, LORD my God,
brought my life up from the pit.
“When my life was ebbing away,
I remembered you, LORD,
and my prayer rose to you,
to your holy temple.
“Those who cling to worthless idols
turn away from God’s love for them.
But I, with shouts of grateful praise,
will sacrifice to you.
What I have vowed I will make good.
I will say, ‘Salvation comes from the LORD.’”
And the LORD commanded the fish, and it vomited Jonah onto dry land.
And another rendition of this timeless story: